On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
