For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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