Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
