I am spending my child support on dildos
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just puked most of my soul out..
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