I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
