the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
