Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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