I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I touched a dick in church today
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
