I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
