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That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Randomize
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