Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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