i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
