Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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