just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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