I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
