I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
