Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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