It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize