she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
