In America we eat man semen.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
