Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
