Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
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No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
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Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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