new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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