grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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