Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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