I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
