Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
