Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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