Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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