he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
