So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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