no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
