I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
