If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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