If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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