How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
my liver is dry heaving
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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