I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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