You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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