The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I touched a dick in church today
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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