hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
