thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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