omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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