Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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