I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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