I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
