those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
