The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
