Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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