whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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