Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
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It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
this hospital has no fireball
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize