I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
