I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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