On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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