Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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