STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Watching her eat just hurts me
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Randomize
