you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
