The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
