you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
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Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize