I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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