Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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