I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
