508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We named our party play list daddy issues
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
