I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
last night I used snow as a chaser
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize