i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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