Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
