First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
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She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The uberlube is also flammable
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
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Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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